Among the many challenges facing leaders, hard, uncomfortable conversations with staff, peers, and even bosses are among the most dreaded and often avoided leadership practices. Leaders usually admit that they could be better at having what many call “crucial conversations,” because of the title of the 2002 best-selling book.
But in spite of the popularity of the book and recognition that these types of conversations are indeed crucial, we still see significant quantitative and qualitative opportunities in most organizations: direct, honest, difficult conversations should be happening more frequently. And leaders could be better at how they approach them.
Are there risks in having these conversations? Sure. But we often ignore the arguably bigger risk of not having them. Following are three of the most significant problems we create when we shy away from hard conversations.
You can look indecisive and weak.
Employees crave clarity and hate ambiguity. While no one likes receiving bad news, human beings are better equipped to process unpopular information and begin dealing with the consequences than they are with perpetual uncertainty. When it’s not clear what’s going to happen, worry can affect both morale and productivity. Even worse, if employees are forced to guess what’s going to happen, they often imagine scenarios that end up being worse than the reality.
Leaders who fail to deliver the difficult messages to individuals and/or the team foster doubt and disengagement. Their aversion to making a tough decision, communicating it effectively, and then helping the team deal with the consequences can cause them to be seen by subordinates and peers as weak and ineffective.
You can harm relationships with your best performers.
Star performers on your team expect and deserve transparency and candor, even when the message may be tough to deliver — and hear. Beyond that, the top players on your team notice when their bosses don’t hold lower performers accountable. Allowing underperformance to continue places an unfair burden on your great employees, making their work more challenging.
We regularly hear top performers say that they very much want constructive feedback on ways to personally improve and contribute to the team’s success. If a leader is unwilling to consistently provide that feedback, their employees’ commitment to the work team and to the organization may suffer.
A manageable problem gets worse until it becomes a crisis.
Putting off difficult decisions and conversations rarely makes the underlying issue go away. To the contrary, the problem usually gets worse. While a crisis ironically makes the decision to have a difficult conversation more straightforward because not addressing it is no longer an option, there is often collateral damage to other members of the team and/or customers.
Even for the most seasoned leaders and executives, tough conversations are challenging. In our next blog, we’ll provide advice on how to prepare for and approach these hard conversations in a way that increases the likelihood for success.